Grudges 2

What is a grudge?  What does it mean to you? Are they real?  Do / Should they exist?  Are they just mean?
Again someone told me I hold grudges for a really long time. I am pondering with a major headache whether or not I do.  I always looked at those deep scars in my mind  and heart as an out of sight, out of conversation, out of mind.  I had been told I cut people out of my life too soon.  I never thought of it that way.  I just stopped putting out the energy for them.  As my husband and I talked about it he said it depends on how others look at it.  Me having ill feelings about someone, just not trying to maintain a relationship, and shutting down when spoken about could appear as a grudge to another.  Is it a grudge or just not forgiving?  I don't go out of my way to show, express or let anyone know that I have ill feelings when they are around.  I cannot pretend that I am over what happened.  There is no pretending we are "cool".  I accept they exist but when heartache struck multiple times I said I am done and meant it.  I am told people change as well as circumstances but who they were is still there and I don't know if I can trust that side won't show itself.  Is that wrong?

Grudges

Recently I was told that I hold grudges for a very long time.  I was asked if there will ever be a time when I might let go, let someone in my life again, give them another chance because people change, circumstances change?  If someone does you wrong on more than one occassion or completely throws you under a bus to protect themself, which leaves a pretty deep scar, at what point do you let it go, let them back into your life providing you even want to at all?