Without Title 1

I got off track in writing. I have always written when things began to no longer make sense. I have started looking, once again, at my life's direction. I realized I had gotten off track. I got a little lost. I lost focus. I got caught up in emotion and not in a good way. One day I said to a good friend and to hubby "I think I am drinking too much" My cousin said it is good that I am recognizing this before it got out of control. I was waking up feeling like crap, stomach hurting, head hurting, and not thinking clearly. I was waking up hung over on too many days. I was drinking more than wine. I was making cocktails nightly and more than just one. I like the taste and the feeling I would get from it. Drinking used to amp me up, I would get that frisky feeling, but that was not there. I started thinking I was drinking for another reason. I found I was drinking just to drink. I found I was no longer getting excited over the things that used to bring me happiness and make me smile. The smile had disappeared. I needed to figure it out. I had in the past, why was now so difficult? I have sat and stared into space a lot lately trying to think and this is the first I am writing about it. I have talked about it a lot but the answers are not yet here. I did not drink for most of the week. I had wine with dinner on Valentine's. I made a cocktail last night but did not get that buzzed feeling so I limited it. It does take a lot to feel that buzz but there are other signs when it is time to stop. I can write a ton on this subject but I do have a job and need to work. To be continued...